Oh hello again. By the looks of it, I have taken a two week hiatus. Unintentional for sure. My eating has been pretty close to terrible the last few days, and I haven't been to the gym in well... two weeks. I have been incredibly down and emotionally lost. I hate that I can start something and do really well for a short period of time and then tank in stupendous fashion. Granted, I haven't lost yet as I still have two days to crank out twenty miles. (Looks like I'm going to get some quality biking time in at the gym)
My intention in blogging was to (a) write my story and (b) hopefully draw from the motivation and perceived accountability of others. Unfortunately neither are happening. Instead I have been feeling the familiar feelings of disappointment as the cyclical nature of failure creeps in. You feel like crap, so you eat. Then when you eat, you feel like crap because what you ate wasn't what you should have eaten. Because you feel like crap, you don't workout. Rinse and repeat.
I know it's a journey. I know I didn't get this way overnight. I just wish that I had as much confidence in myself as others had in me. When I hear "you've been my inspiration" it doesn't sink in. I don't know how anyone could look at what I've done and say good job... I've failed.
Tonight I added 3.75 miles to the total from a night walk to Hannaford. I don't know where my weight is right now cause I've declared war against the scale.
Total Miles = 31.3
Total Weight lost = ?
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