Hiatus

Oh hello again. By the looks of it, I have taken a two week hiatus. Unintentional for sure. My eating has been pretty close to terrible the last few days, and I haven't been to the gym in well... two weeks. I have been incredibly down and emotionally lost. I hate that I can start something and do really well for a short period of time and then tank in stupendous fashion. Granted, I haven't lost yet as I still have two days to crank out twenty miles. (Looks like I'm going to get some quality biking time in at the gym)

My intention in blogging was to (a) write my story and (b) hopefully draw from the motivation and perceived accountability of others. Unfortunately neither are happening. Instead I have been feeling the familiar feelings of disappointment as the cyclical nature of failure creeps in. You feel like crap, so you eat. Then when you eat, you feel like crap because what you ate wasn't what you should have eaten. Because you feel like crap, you don't workout. Rinse and repeat.

I know it's a journey. I know I didn't get this way overnight. I just wish that I had as much confidence in myself as others had in me. When I hear "you've been my inspiration" it doesn't sink in. I don't know how anyone could look at what I've done and say good job... I've failed.

Tonight I added 3.75 miles to the total from a night walk to Hannaford. I don't know where my weight is right now cause I've declared war against the scale.

Total Miles = 31.3
Total Weight lost = ?

Outta Whack

Keeping up with a workout routine and trying to date at the same time is proving to be difficult. I was able to get to the gym tonight and get in a 30-min circuit workout and a 20-min bike ride. I find that I haven't been eating enough lately either. I'll go for hours and not be hungry, or be hungry but when I go to eat something it's no longer appetizing. I'm not really sure what all that's about, but I'm hoping that it will change. Tomorrow is pay day so it means I get to freshen up the pantry with the good stuff. I did eat a few more meals out, but again, stayed pretty true to eating clean.

Been feeling a little down lately. I know I'm on the right track and all that, but it's easy to get discouraged. The good things are that I'm still on target for my monthly miles and have not gained weight. What more could I ask for I guess?

Side note: Today was National Cheese Pizza Day (apparently there is such a thing) and I did NOT have a slice. Small victory.

The 20 min bike ride added 4.15 miles.

Total Miles: 27.55
Total Weight Lost: -5.2

Got Me Some Miles...

So yesterday din't really turn out as planned. (that seems to be my life lately) I was able to finally get some sleep which was awesome, but in turn wasn't able to get the miles in in the morning like I had wanted to. I did do a smidge of hiking by going up to the top of Rock Rimmon... which is gorgeous at night btw.

Today my friend Danielle and I did the Tower Hill Lake Loop which the map guide says is 4.9 miles. Pretty happy about that :) It was actually a great walk with some gentle uphills. For those of you Manchester-ites, I highly recommend it :) As for food, I haven't really been eating that much, which is completely anti-losing weight... yes you do have to eat to lose... but I had a hard time doing it knowing that I wasn't going to be working out. Flawed logic, I know. Had my first indulgence today, kiddie-sized black raspberry frozen yogurt. It was good, but I don't know if it was worth it. The forever dillema. LOL.

Well happy Labor Day... thank goodness for cooler weather.

Total Miles: 23.4
Total Weight Lost: -5.2

Another day missed...

Again I did not sleep well last night. Got about 3 hours before my body just woke up. Spent from about 6:30am to 1:30pm in and out of sleep on the futon. Had to be in Portsmouth for 4 so, with the stinky sleep and the commitment, I couldn't get the miles in. However, not being able to sleep and not feeling well does have one small advantage... you lose weight. LOL. Anyway, I ate out yet another  meal tonight and succesfully navigated the menu by getting a Bistro Salad (grapes, walnuts, greens, and goat cheese, with a champagne vinnaigrette). And no dessert :)  I did end up walking around Portsmouth a bit so technically I could probably add a mile, but I don't wanna earn this on technicalities. So with that...

Total Miles: 18.5
Total Weight Lost: -5.0 (1/10th of the way there!)